Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm always down for nudity.
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