so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
