U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
