Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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