I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
