Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
