Swine flu. Run for my life!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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