I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
