sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
