You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
