She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
