How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
