That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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