it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
this hospital has no fireball
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
