life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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