Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
