Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
