We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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