i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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