Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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