You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
