Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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