Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
