We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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