Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
birth control should be required to get into college
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
