So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
