She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
