Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
