So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
