Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
