Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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