Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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