Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
handjob tips. give me some.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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