I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
