That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
