If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
