Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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