so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
