Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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