He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
