i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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