508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
