That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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