I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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