u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
