i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
