and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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