Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
