I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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