just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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