You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
